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The Illustrious Second Date

In a world of online dating sites and a constant barrage of multitasking and over-stimulation, dating can be hard. Many of the people around me put a lot of pressure onto the first date and attempting to create the perfect atmosphere of romanticism. I, however, don’t put as much stock into the first date, probably because I’ve had some great ones and a lot of bad ones in my time. I’m simply worried about being myself and getting a feel for this new person the first time we hang out. It doesn’t matter whether that first time ended with a clumsy handshake or some kinky, exhibitionist sex, what really makes or breaks whether or not I’ll let someone slide past with little regard or pursue them until my poor heart can’t stand it anymore is what goes down on the second date. And, in my experience, she is a tricky wench.

The most important thing about the second date is to keep it casual and don’t build it up. You’ve gone through the formalities and all the normal questions and the planning and general bullshit of the first date, you don’t need to do that again. Go with the flow, and be flexible. If your first date was dinner or a movie, try going to a shitty bar with music playing and some cheap food. Or even go on a double date. Or hang out with him and his friends. If you can enjoy yourself without the structure of what the first date is traditionally obliged to contain, then he’s a keeper.

The golden ticket to impressing the guy on the second date is to find a way to do something you already know he likes or referencing something you shared. Certainly you talked about your interests on the first date, so show that you were really listening. If he mentions a love for bowling, Mediterranean cuisine, or tequila and rap music, go embarrass yourself with a few gutter balls, try falafel, dance at that trashy club and take shots! He will enjoy and appreciate that you were paying attention and it sets up a more natural environment to give you a sense of who he really is.

Similarly, if you guys laughed about something last time, try and bring it back in some way and start an inside joke! The reason the second date is the most informative to me is because it tells you whether or not you can actually build a relationship with that person. Clearly you like him enough to give him more of your precious time out of your hectic schedule, what’s really important is to know whether or not it will go anywhere. Now, I’m not saying that this second date has to be perfect and should end with a kiss under fireworks. Actually, I’m saying the opposite. If there are awkward pauses in conversation, that’s perfectly fine! You don’t have to try and over-compensate here. The point is to keep it chill and see if you like him more as the minutes pass or if he’s just really not the one to lose your mind over.

The funniest/best part of this post is that I think I just tried to give dating advice. Lolololol.

Stay hot and keep it messy,


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